Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
What a dumb baby whore.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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