I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize
