i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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