A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
