problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i wish my penis had a tongue
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
