If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
