not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
