he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
50% drunk capacity currently
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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