I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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