I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Holy shit dude........stairs
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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