I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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