my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
