I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
