I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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