Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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