i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
