What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm at about main and main street
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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