You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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