I'm going to jail i love you
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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