Its about making memories worth repressing
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
