Whod you bang
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i wish my penis had a tongue
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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