But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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