They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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