U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
