Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
