did you get engaged???
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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