everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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