It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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