yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
