I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
