The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
