I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
