She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
