I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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