I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
