New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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