I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
