You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
