I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
