Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Randomize
