I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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