This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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