I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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