So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
