i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
