But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
