Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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