Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
