you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
