The maid of honor just puked.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
