God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
and she was petting her beer can
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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