i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
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