Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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